Emotional Intelligence

Domains of Emotional Intelligence

In his book "Emotional Intelligence," Daniel Goleman describes the five main domains of emotional intelligence (as defined by Peter Salovey, a Yale psychologist):

knowing one's emotions ... is fundamental to emotional intelligence. People who know their feelings are better pilots of their lives.
managing emotions ... people who are effective in managing their emotions can cope better with life's adversities and can bounce back faster than those who are poor in managing their feelings.
motivating oneself ... people without emotional intelligence lack self-restraint and would just do whatever their impulses suggest. In Goleman’s words, they "suffer a moral deficiency". Emotional self-control, delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness underlies accomplishment of every sort.
recognizing emotions in others ... emotional self-awareness is the first step to empathic sensitivity. In other words, if we are in touch with our own feelings, then we can empathise with others and sense their needs.
handling relationships ... the art of relating to others includes the skill in managing emotions in others. For example, the ability to calm distressing emotions in others can help resolve many conflicts.

Cultivating Your Emotional Intelligence

Be in touch with your own feelings ... find time to be alone, know yourself and write down your thoughts.
Do not deny your feelings ... recognise that feelings are not sins. Where needed, share your feelings with others. However, sharing with others does not mean total honesty in sharing all your thoughts and feelings on any subject or person.

Know the maturity of your potential confidant ... can he or she handle what you will be sharing?

Exercise caution in revealing feelings or facts that may hurt others

Do not allow your feelings to dictate your behaviour ... set your own criteria on what you should and should not do (based on biblical principles and values). It is important to establish principles beforehand as to what to do when caught in such situations because emotions may dominate your being and rational thoughts go out the window!
Live by faith in God and His word ... read relevant portions of the Bible that address the issue concerned and talk with God