In this article, I seek to share with you a biblical perspective on parenting ... its aims, principles and methods. We will also explore its application. I do not have all the answers. Like you, I am learning as I move along in life. Let's begin our journey by listening to Moses' exhortation.
"These are the commands ...
the LORD your God directed me to teach you to observe ...
so that you, your children and their children ...
may fear the LORD your God as long as you live ...
by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you ..." Deut 6:1-2
"All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Matt 28:18-20
Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Col. 3:20 (c.f., Eph. 6:1)
He who withholds his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him diligently. Prov 13:24
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol. Prov 23:13-14
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;
The rod of discipline will remove it far from him. Prov 22:15
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
Love the LORD your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your strength.
These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
Impress them on your children ..." Deut. 6:4-9
There is a pressing question my heart's been asking me
When I say "I love You, Lord" what does it really mean?
I know it is one thing to say it and another to do
How can I show You it's true?
"Impress them (these commandments) on your children.
Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road,
when you lie down and when you get up." Deut. 6:7
(a) Diligently - Impress them (the commandments) on the children ... make it memorable ... stress its importance to living
(b) At all times - Moses used two opposite extremes to signify the whole of time
• When you sit at home » when you walk along the way
• When you lie down » when you get up
He was saying that there is never a time when our teaching ceases ... there must be a consciousness and alertness to seize upon opportunities to teach. The opportunities of life are incidental but parenting that is effective must be intentional. In this area of teaching at all times (24/7), stay-at-home mothers have an advantage because they are usually there with their children when opportunities arise.
However, opportunities to teach do not always present themselves or when they do, we may not be with our children to seize them. Therefore, seizing casual opportunities to teach cannot preclude planned times of teaching. How do we have planned times of teaching (of God's Word) in the casual setting of the home?
(c) Use reminders, rituals and stories - In their teaching, the Israelites made use of ...
Reminders - Scriptures were carved onto door frames and gates of their houses as reminders (Deut. 6:8-9,12).
Rituals and stories - Significant events in their history were commemorated through rituals and festivals (Deut. 6:20-25 c.f., Exo. 13:3, 6-10, 11-16) which in turn prompted questions from their children and hence opportunities to recall God's works.
But many of us in Singapore are first-generation Christians and it is up to us to create and pass down a rich heritage of traditions that will help future generations treasure God's Word. Question for thought: What are some traditions that you would like to pass down?
Then, there is always the possibility that traditions may degenerate into outward forms without inward reality. Question for thought: How do we communicate the reality and vitality of the living God?
- according to a child's bent (leaning) which is already established
- according to his developmental level
But it is best interpreted as "in the way of wisdom." (c.f., Prov. 4:11).
In other words, Proverbs 22:6 states that if we start a young child on the right road, he will probably not leave it even when he is older.
This is not a promise but a general principle. It is often true, children reflect their upbringing but there are exceptions. Children from Christian homes do go bad. There is no guarantee in parenting ... that if we do this, then that is how the child will turn out. There are many factors in the growth and development of a child. A child may choose to go his own way independent of God.
Nevertheless Prov 22:6 and 19:18 strongly encourage us to lay a strong foundation while our children are young. We have only one chance to raise our children!