The cyber-world of cable television, computers, the Internet, mobile phones, MP3 players and PDAs pose challenges to "baby boomer" parents (we parents who were born between 1946 and 1964; post WWII babies). While many of us are lost in this high-tech world, our "Generation Y" sons and daughters (born between 1982 and 2001) are technologically adept and even claim to be able to multi-task.
I see my sons at home - listening to music on the computer, chatting on MSN Messenger while doing their homework ... all at the same time. I still have doubts as to whether they can really concentrate on more than one task on hand.
"Parenting in A Cyber-Generation" can be easily renamed as "Parenting A Cyber-Generation". In this article, I will share my thoughts on the following questions:
It was in 1994 that GSM, the first digital cellular system, was introduced in Singapore. Standing at more than 80% of its population, Singapore has one of the world's highest penetration of mobile phones.
Should kids have mobile phones ... assuming that you can afford it?
My sons were in Primary school when they bugged me for a mobile phone? I said, "No" because I see no need for them to have a mobile phone. If they are not in school, they are at home or they would be out with me and/or my wife.
They bugged me again, I said, "No, maybe when you are in Secondary school". So when they are in Secondary school, they bugged me again. I said, "OK if you can give me 10 good reasons why you need a mobile phone."
When they realised they don't have ten good reasons, they came up with more than 10 silly excuses; I can't remember them now but we all had a good laugh.
They bugged me again a few days later. One of them said, "Dad, I really want a mobile phone! Why? It's good for my self-esteem." Jackpot!
That's the real reason. Teenagers want to look hip and cool in the eyes of their friends. Having a mobile is part of that image. Though I see possessions (including a mobile phone) as a shaky foundation for self-esteem, I acknowledge their feelings.
Quietly I decided to grant their desire. But I was concerned about the stewardship of owning a mobile phone and that my boys understand the kind of financial commitment involved in owning a mobile phone.
That's the real reason. Teenagers want to look hip and cool in the eyes of their friends. Having a mobile is part of that image. Though I see possessions (including a mobile phone) as a shaky foundation for self-esteem, I acknowledge their feelings.
Quietly I decided to grant their desire. But I was concerned about the stewardship of owning a mobile phone and that my boys understand the kind of financial commitment involved in owning a mobile phone.
The Scriptures that came to my mind were ...
Now He was also saying to the disciples,
"There was a rich man who had a manager,
and this manager was reported to him
as squandering his possessions.
"And he called him and said to him,
'What is this I hear about you?
Give an accounting of your management,
for you can no longer be manager.'
The rich rules over the poor,
And the borrower becomes the lender's slave.
Also see Luke 19:12-13; Matt 25:14-30
I told them that telcos can give away free phones because they want you to commit to a plan. A basic two-year plan costs 8 per month x 24 months = $432 for two years or $216 per year.
Sons: We will pay for it!
Dad: How?
Sons: Can we use our ang-pows for it?
Dad: No!
Sons: Then we will pay from our pocket money.
Dad: 8 per month or about $5 per week ... You can't manage that with your weekly allowance of 0 for recess.
I came up with a plan with the following Terms and Conditions:
• They only have to pay 0 per month + any excess charges for over-usage ... so that they exercise self-discipline in the usage of their mobile phones.• For every $2 excess charge, they forfeit the use of their phone for one day; $4, two days; subject to a maximum of 14 days. Moreover, there is no credit; in other words they are to pay up with their next week's pocket money as soon as the bill arrives.
• The 0 charge is pro-rated during school holidays as they don't receive pocket money then. For a two-week holiday, they pay only $5; for long holidays, they don't need to pay the 0.
• They will pay for upgrades (to the latest models) or replacement of lost phones.
Dad: Do you agree with these terms?
Sons: Do we have a choice?
Dad: No
Sons: Okay, we accept.
In 2001, I subscribed for mobile phones for my two sons when they were in Sec 2 and 1 respectively.
I stuck to this plan even when one of my sons sent more than 2000 SMS for two months. He had to forgo some of his meals to pay for the extra charges and would come home hungry ... and looking for food to eat. It wasn't easy for us to see him losing weight.
If you are concerned about excessive monthly bills then prepaid card is the alternative. However, in this case, you would have to purchase your own phone (a "free" phone usually accompanies a subscription contract). Also note that unit cost per call or SMS is higher for prepaid cards compared with subscription contracts.