Parenting in A Cyber-Generation (II)

Should we deny access to the Internet?

Is being online safe and beneficial for my child?

There is a lot of information as well as offensive materials on the Internet. A search for "animal stories" on your favourite search engine may turn up sites with information on sex with animals. Some undesirable sites camouflaged themselves and draw visitors with keyword stuffing.

I know of families who do not subscribe to Internet access because they want to protect their children from the immorality of the cyber-world ... pornography etc.

Should we stop our children from having any Internet access because of the undesirable and offensive materials available online? No, because there is much more useful information (than undesirable information) to deny them access. Children especially teenagers can access the Internet from places other than your home. Therefore, the answer is not simply to be unhooked from the Internet.

Some families subscribe to filtering service or use some sort of filtering software at home. What's the difference between the two?

Filtering service ... undesirable sites are filtered at your ISP (Internet Service Provider) side

However, new undesirable sites pop up everyday. While your ISP updates itself with a list of undesirable sites frequently, they still need you to report any undesirable sites which they will review and block if deemed undesirable.
Filtering software ... filtering done at your computer; however the software can be rendered ineffective easily by children who know more about computers than parents.

Microsoft Internet Explorer has a Content Advisor that provides a way to help you control the types of content that your computer can gain access to on the Internet. After you turn on Content Advisor, only rated content that meets or exceeds your criteria can be viewed. You can adjust the settings.

You can access Content Advisor by clicking the "Tools" menu in Internet Explorer, then "Internet Options" and "Contents" tab.

You might want to write down your supervisor password. You will need to type it any time you change the Content Advisor settings.

Not all Internet content is rated. To prevent others from visiting objectionable Web sites that don't use ratings labels, click the Approved Sites tab, and change the settings as appropriate. If you choose to allow other people to view unrated sites on your computer, some of those sites could contain inappropriate material.

If the answer is not in filtering service or software then what is the solution?

In Jesus' prayer for His disciples, He did not pray for withdrawal from the world but protection from the evil one through the Word of God.

I do not ask You to take them out of the world,
but to keep them from the evil one.
They are not of the world,
even as I am not of the world.
Sanctify them in the truth;
Your word is truth. John 17:15-17

Use the Word of God to build a biblical filter in their mind to counteract the immorality of the cyber-world and encourage to dwell on the good.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence and
if anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things. Phil 4:8

How to monitor kids' surfing on the Internet?

Here are some suggestions.

Have the computer set up in an area of the house that is easy to walk by and set the computer so you can see the screen.

Our computer is in our bedroom. Do not let your child have a computer with internet capabilities in his or her room (unless you have confidence in him/her).
Finding pages your computer (not necessarily your children) had recently visited

(1) On your Internet Explorer toolbar, click the History button. (2) The History bar appears, containing links for Web sites and pages visited in previous days and weeks (3) Browse through them.

But then they could "Clear History". If the History is always empty then it raises a red flag!
Looking at the "typed URLs" in the Address Dropdown List

Click on the "down" arrow / inverted triangle at the right end of the Address bar of your Internet Explorer. The dropdown will list all the sites visited by typing in their web addresses. By the way, this list also can be cleared. Always clear = red flag!
Looking at search strings in your favourite search engine

Double click within the search box and the dropdown list will reveal words and phrases that were used to search for information. Again, this list can be cleared.
Looking at the Temporary Internet Files folder

Look at the Internet addresses as well as jpg files stored in that folder. Pornographic pictures are usually files with the jpg extension. All these files can be deleted.

Note: The Temporary Internet Files folder is the location on your hard disk where web pages and files (such as graphics e.g., jpg files) are cached (stored) as you view them.
Examine the names of cookies stored on your computer

Look at the portion after @. That portion may be revealing of the sites visited. All these cookies can be deleted.

Note: A cookie is a file created by an Internet site to store information on your computer, such as your preferences when visiting that site and personally identifiable information. It may also be used to track your Web page use for advertising or other marketing purposes.
Look into the "Recycle Bin"

If the Temporary Internet Files and cookies are deleted; they may be in the Recycle Bin so take a peep.

Don't jump to conclusion that your children are the culprits especially if there are other people who have access to your computer. As explained, all these footprints can be wiped clean if you know how (but I am not teaching). Use the above to check each and every footprint left behind to find out more and to discuss the values of the cyber world with your children.

"A few lessons that parents have been teaching their children for generations still hold true today, whether in a wired universe or the brick-and-mortar world.

Old-fashioned advice like ... (1) Don't believe everything you read (2) If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. (3) If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.

While children may know more about technology than their parents do, they have had fewer life experiences and, hence, a more limited understanding of how the world works."

Dr Lim Sun Sun, Media Lecturer, National University of Singapore
As reported in The Straits Times, February 24 2007

Remember, teach the Word of God and build a biblical filter in the minds of your children.

How do we deal with kids who spend too much time on SMS and chat rooms?

Do you know what your kids are chatting about? Don't jump to conclusions ... they may be chatting about homework ... they are developing their friendships. You would like your kids to be talking about Jesus with their friends, wouldn't you? A connected generation is not a bad thing. Technology allows us to have our lives connected in ways that can be used for witnessing / ministering to others.

If your child is spending excessive time on the computer then he is not in control ... he/she is being enslaved.

All things are lawful for me,
but not all things are profitable.
All things are lawful for me,
but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Cor 6:12

If self-control cannot be brought forth from within then external controls must be enforced to deprive access. Your trump card - Disable the network adapter or modem

Open Device Manager
Double-click the type of device that you want to disable
Right-click the specific device you want, and then click Disable

Other more obvious steps are physically removing the mouse or keyboard and hide these hardware devices including the power cable, monitor cable, etc

But before you use your trump card, ask yourself, "Does your son or daughter have an alternate activity?" If not, there is a danger that the last state may be worse than the first. Help to create alternatives ... expose your children to fun and wholesome activities other than the computer.

For excessive time spent on SMS ... control through the bill. If the kids have to pay for all excessive charges then let consequence be the teacher.